Limited Book Review and Rant - Can We All Be Feminists?

Can we All be Feminists? is a collection of essays on the necessity of  the feminist movement to be intersectional and inclusive, to support women who are marginalized due to their race, alter-ability, and sexual orientation. The editor is June Eric-Udorie. I have not read the entire book, only the editor's 27-page introduction, which is the focus of my response. 

Painting from Baltimore Air B&B

Why this book? First, I am staying in an AirB&B row house in Baltimore about fifteen minute's walk from my treatment at Johns Hopkins Medical Hospital. The home owner, who does not stay here, is clearly interested in feminism. The living room is decorated by her lovely paintings (one above and three below) which celebrate women and she has a collection of books on feminism. I'm open to reading new things. Second, I am married; my wife and I have two daughters. I am concerned that they have an equal place in society, that their voices are heard by authorities and that authorities are well represented by female voices. Finally, the title was intriguing. Was it asking if I, as a middle class white male, can be a feminist?  Quick answer: no. The book asks if white, middle and upper class trans-exclusionary, privileged feminism can welcome marginalized groups. The editor, Eric-Udorie, a bisexual, black woman from Nigeria with visual impairment who immigrated to the UK, hopes the answer is yes.  

Painting from Baltimore Air B&B

It's important to know my biases as I review Eric-Udorie's intro to the book. I'm not a big supporter of contemporary feminism, nor am I a supporter of LGBTQIA+ inclusion movements. I do not consider myself anti-trans or anti queer, or anti any of that growing alphabet soup. However, I firmly believe their minority causes should not/not flip the the social fabric of the majority on its head, especially when there is a wealth of evidence that the majority society in the USA has been ever more tolerant and inclusive of minorities and supportive of equal rights for women. Are there still major hurdles to be crossed and and glaring examples of backward progress for women? Yes. The average lifespan for women is decreasing. The lack of abortion rights of any kind in some U.S. states is extreme. No abortions for mothers' whose lives are endangered by the pregnancy? No abortions in cases of rape and incest? That is extreme. However, the overall arc has been one of improvement for women, in some important cases outgaining men. Women are now more likely to have high school diplomas, college degrees, and gainful employment than men are. When I was born a women could not have a credit card with out husband or father being a joint account holder. Times have changed.  

A few final items for note on my biases. I grew up in a largely progressive household and my mom considered herself a feminist. I was a bit of a radical by high school standards, existing well outside societal norms for American teens. I had long hair, listened to folk and indigenous music, refused to touch tabaco or alcohol, planned to remain celibate for life and wanted nothing to do with affection from my peers - no hugs or kisses, groping or fondling, no sex. I was agnostic, but only because I avoided conflict and could not imagine the consequences of nothing after death. I liked the idea of being a monk but it was not possible because I was agnostic, so living in a cave in nature seemed like a decent alternative. I was devastated when I learned that Henry David Thoreau only lived on Walden Pond for two years and that Walden Pond was not in the wilderness but in the town of Concord. There were no models for me to follow.  As I've grown older I have certainly become more conservative in my social norms and my politics. I love a good cuddle from my wife! 

Back to Eric-Udorie's introduction to Can We All Be Feminists? I was prepared to dismiss it the moment I saw her use LGBTQIA+. That the ever growing list of letters has already reached the point of absurdity in length and is an essential proof of flawed concept. That said, Eric-Udorie makes fair statements about the brutality and oppression women, gays, and nonbinaries face in the Nigerian context, which transfers in some (not all) contexts in the the UK and USA. She makes fair statements that women of color, the alter-abled (or disabled), immigrants, and trans people are at a disadvantage here. She writes powerfully about marginalized people's struggle for greater rights and inclusion. Intersectionality is a buzz word that drives me nuts, but Eric-Udorie does it justice when she writes; 

       Intersectionality matters. It has always mattered. Long before the word exited, it was the lived             experience for millions. And yet, current mainstream feminist politics still takes a one size-fits all             approach...feminism aims to end sexist oppression for all. 

Painting from Baltimore Air B&B

My rant against her intro is as follows: Eric-Udorie speaks of women having blind spots, especially white, middle and upper income, straight, feminist women. These feminists do not appreciate or consider the struggles of the marginalized, do not see that in some cases the are the oppressor. My answer - Why should they see? They are not you and you realistically cannot expect them to be you. They have experienced different lives. They will not think exactly the same as you think. If every progressive, feminist or otherwise, takes the stance of my truth, you must appreciate me or at least think like me, then the movement turns on itself like a snake in an ever-tightening coil eating its tail. The reality is that the progressive movement from 2016 onwards has been doing just that: turning on itself for lack of purity, canceling and denouncing each other for this, that, or another perceived micro-transgression. Beyond this, biological women are perfectly logical and have every right to not be lumped in with transgender people, or with non-binary men, or men who have chemically castrated themselves to become women, or men who feel themselves to be women. Leave aside progressive and feminist women. Traditional women have their own stories, their own identity, and experiences just as Eric-Udorie or any other person does. Are they illegit, not worthy of opinion or existence? Who is Eric-Udorie to take away their right to be biological women? After all, women who believe that womanhood is essentially biological and physiological remain the majority. The ever expanding alphabet of LGBTQIA+ will still remain the minority. (I imagine a person of unspecified gender saying where is my letter? How dare you oppress me and further marginalize me by calling me +!) When a minority forces the majority to follow its norms, that is tyranny. 

I will conclude with this: In a democratic republic the majority has the moral responsibility to protect the the basic rights of the minority. In the USA those are the rights granted to us by the Constitution and, when possible, the right to life, liberty, and happiness.  I'm fine if an adult wants to change their gender. I'm fine calling a person they or another preferred pronoun. Moving beyond gender identity issues, I want women to have equal access to leadership roles and the same pay for the same work. If a woman does not want to marry, not have kids, have kids with another woman, or join in a civil union with another woman, I am fine with that. I'll support her/his, they, its right to do so. If a woman wants to marry another woman in a religion with doctrine that allows it, then go for it. Call it a marriage if you want and our laws will ensure that your union is supported with the same civil rights as heterosexual couples that marry in the dominant religions of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, etc.

Eric-Udorie's call for recognizing, appreciating, understanding, and legally upholding every single marginalized person's truth becomes a contradiction in reality that ultimately erodes the fabric of a functional society. A society functions when it organizes around communally accepted principals and norms. I would be a miserable failure of a human if I had tried to live alone in a cave for years. We are a miserable, crumbling society when we all retreat to the caves of our own personal truths. I'm not religious at all. Yet I have to admit that American society is healthier and functions better when we organize around the religious principles of family, marriage, and respect for elders. We can do this while also protecting the Constitutional civil rights of minorities. That's my rant.